SGM July 2014 Weekly Message One: “How to Solve 3 Common Problems With Meditation”

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Welcome to the July 2014 Edition of Spiritual Growth Monthly. I’m Kevin Schoeninger. It’s great to have you with us here at SGM!

This month, we dive into the deeper secrets of meditation. You’ll discover how to use meditation to take your life to the next level by overcoming negative beliefs and limitations that block you from the health, wealth, and love your soul desires.

Meditation is the most powerful tool you have to shift your consciousness and change your life for the better! Daily meditation activates your immune response, resolves chronic pain, improves your digestion, resets your nervous system, and boosts your memory, cognitive powers, and mental clarity.

Now, many people come to meditation for stress relief—and that’s a great place to start. In our frenetic world, we can all use a daily break to release the tensions and stresses that naturally accumulate. Meditation is a powerful way to consciously activate your body’s relaxation response to reduce the stress you feel.

Yet, stress relief is just the entry point to the deeper secrets of meditation. I would call it Stage One of your practice. In this month’s Weekly Messages, you’ll learn how to master Stage One, conscious relaxation, so you can move on to the deeper and even more profound Stages Two through Four. In these stages, you’ll discover how to develop deep concentration, transcendence, and inner guidance to live the empowered life you are meant to live.

In order to get to those next levels, you may need to overcome some common challenges that arise in Stage One. In this week’s message, we’ll uncover the source of these challenges and one simple secret to help you move through them more easily.

Let’s begin with some fascinating research related to Stage One that I just read today. The gist of it is that 67% of people would rather give themselves an electric shock than be alone with their thoughts. If you’re a regular meditator, that might be amusing or disturbing news—but if you’re struggling with relaxing in meditation, you might say “Heck yeh!” Whatever the case, I think this research highlights a key point that can help all of us meditate more deeply, joyfully, and effectively.

As reported in Prevention magazine: “New research in Science reveals some people hate the idea (of being alone with their thoughts) so much, they’d rather shock themselves. Seriously.

When given the opportunity to simply sit by themselves and daydream, participants in 11 studies ranging in age from 18 to 77 generally did not enjoy their quiet time. In fact, they found it so unpleasant that 67% of the men and 25% of the women opted to self-administer an electric shock in order to cut their 15 minutes of alone time short.”

“What’s really happening, says Reinhard (one of the lead researchers), is an evolutionary trait at work. ‘The human mind evolved to engage with the world to be vigilant for dangers as well as seek out opportunities,’ he says. And while we possess the ability to mentally disengage from the world, it’s not something we get to do often.’”
(http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/many-people-find-meditation-more-unpleasant-enjoyable)

So, we are wired by evolution to pay strong attention to the outside world scanning for threats and dangers. We are much less practiced with paying attention to our inner world, and, for many people, that makes their inner world feel very uncomfortable. This can make an inner practice such as meditation, in which you become hyper-aware of your own thoughts, feelings, and inner sensations close to unbearable.

Fortunately, meditation doesn’t have to be that way. With a little insight, the problems in Stage One can melt away, so you can enjoy the pleasure of conscious relaxation and journey into the deeper stages and benefits of your practice. Here are three of the most common challenges in Stage One and how you can move through them:

Challenge #1: Body aches and discomfort

I recently took a position with LifeTime Fitness—one of the largest wellness companies in the world. My new responsibilities include starting a “Stress Relief Meditation Program.” In my pilot program, I’ve had the opportunity to introduce many people to meditation practice for the first time. Almost invariably the first challenge people face is physical discomfort. For many people, this is back pain from sitting in an unsupported upright posture.

Upright posture is important in meditation for many reasons. While it is certainly possible to meditate while lying down, there are many benefits to upright posture. It encourages alertness; aligns, strengthens, and releases tension along your spine; makes you feel more focused, intentional, purposeful, and empowered; and it translates your meditative experience to your other daily activities, most of which you do in an upright position.

Not only is upright posture important, in my teaching I emphasize unsupported upright posture—in other words, sitting forward without a seat back. Specifically, I suggest sitting on the front edge of a seat, with feet flat on the floor and parallel with each other, and hands resting on your thighs. Initially this can make meditation even more challenging for many people, basically because of weak spinal muscles and poor posture habits. This posture exposes chronic tension, poor alignment, and muscle weakness.

The first thing I tell students is that this discomfort is normal when you start meditating, so not to worry. The discomfort will pass as you continue to practice.

Second, you can do a few things posture-wise to lessen your discomfort and sit more upright and aligned. First, make sure that the height of your seat puts your hips level with or slightly above your knees and sit far enough forward so you feel weight in your feet.

Then, expand the breathing space between the front of your hips and the bottom of your ribs, as in the picture below. To help you do this, place your thumbs on the base of your ribs and your pinkies on your hip bones. Take a few deep breaths, lengthening the vertical distance between your thumbs and your pinkies as you inhale. This will put you in a more upright alignment, with your ears over your shoulders over your hips. It also increases space in your torso, so you can take deeper breaths. You can rest your palms down on your thighs to support you in this upright posture.

Increase your breathing space

Third, simply be present with your discomfort and accept it—whether it’s back pain or any other uncomfortable sensation. See if you can just notice what is happening without being consumed by the sensation. Instead of resisting it, fighting it, fearing it, or thinking that you are failing in your practice, see if it’s possible to just observe the discomfort, relax into it and around it, breathe into it, and see what happens. You may find that the sensation dissipates or you may find that it increases and decreases. All sensations come and go. They resolve most easily when we stop fighting them, stop fearing what’s happening, and relax into them.

Finally, stretch or shift your position. If you need to slide back against a seat-back to relieve your back pain, go ahead and do that. If you need to stretch or move a little, go ahead and do that. If you need to shorten your practice for that day, go ahead and do that.

By being present with and accepting whatever happens in your practice and doing what is helpful at that moment, you’ll find that your practice becomes generally more and more comfortable—and pleasurable. Over time, sitting in upright posture will strengthen your spinal muscles, release chronic tension, and align your spine—all of which will improve your health and help you feel more relaxed and empowered in your life.

Challenge #2: Dealing with challenging thoughts and feelings

One of the biggest misconceptions about meditation is that it is about trying to stop your thoughts or quiet your mind. These are natural effects of meditation practice, but not the technique of meditation. If you are trying to stop your thoughts, good luck, it’s not going to happen. A part of your mind is always non-stop associating. It’s pointless to try to stop having thoughts.

However, as you engage other parts of your mind, parts that are not associated with language and thinking, but with sensation and feeling, you’ll find that this naturally quiets your thinking mind and brings you into calm clarity. The part of your mind that is always thinking will fade into the background, as you give it less and less attention.

So, the way to deal with thoughts in meditation is not to try to stop them, but to simply observe and accept them as part of the meditation process. Recognize them, accept them, and let them go.

Thoughts are part of meditation: sometimes the most random, strange thoughts, sometimes To Do List thoughts, memories, or self-judgments—all kinds of thoughts will come up. There is nothing to fear in having thoughts—you can always choose what you do with them. In meditation, just notice them, accept them, and allow them to fade into the background as you return to your meditation cues.

You can do the same thing with uncomfortable feelings. As you go deeper into meditation, you may find that deeper and more challenging feelings come up. Just like thoughts, all kinds of feelings might arise—from peace and joy to sadness, fear, and anger. Arising emotions are a natural part of the therapeutic process of meditation. Like thoughts, and sensations, there is nothing to fear in them. You can choose how you relate to whatever feelings arise.

When uncomfortable feelings come up, you don’t need to do anything about them. You don’t need to change them or fix them. Recognize them, accept them, and allow them to move through you. Like thoughts and sensations, see if you can allow them to come and go, naturally.

This natural inner therapy of noticing, accepting, and releasing thoughts, feelings, and sensations is a powerful aspect of daily meditation practice. It is a time each day when you can let go of the tensions of the past 24 hours, and, after that, the tensions of a life-time, so they can resolve. This ongoing practice frees up the energy that is bound up in those experiences, so you can more freely focus on and engage in what is happening now in your life—and move forward.

So, as you are following the cues of your meditation practice and a thought, feeling, judgment, or uncomfortable sensation comes up, just notice it, accept it, and let it go. Then, gently return to your meditation cues. You’ve probably heard me describe this as the 3Rs of meditation practice: recognize, release, and return. As you do this again and again, you’ll find that your mind and emotions naturally become more quiet and calm, your body relaxes, and you begin to enter deeper stages of meditation.

Challenge #3: Boredom, restlessness, and sleepiness

As you begin to relax in meditation, you may find yourself bored, restless, or sleepy. Our minds are so accustomed to being busy, we are so used to checking off things on our To Do Lists, that meditation might feel pointless and unproductive. You may feel that you’re wasting time and you should be getting stuff done, instead. You might feel bored at the lack of stimulation. Or you may doze off.

While you may enjoy a few moments of relaxation, just sitting there seemingly doing nothing, might feel agitating. One reason is that the tensions and irritations in your life may come to the foreground of your attention. You may begin to notice the tensions in your body, the anxiety in your nervous system, or your inner critic that drives you to keep doing more and more. As these come up, use the 3Rs.

Second, you may not have developed your inner senses, your ability to feel the pleasurable sensations of relaxation inside your body—so you aren’t able to fully enjoy and sink deeper into them. Awakening inner sensation, what is called “Interoception,” your ability to feel sensations inside your body, is just a matter of practice. As you awaken your inner senses, meditation will start to feel really good.

Now, as you begin to relax in meditation, you may notice yourself getting sleepy. This could be because you haven’t slept enough and you just really need more sleep. You may have been pushing yourself so hard, you may have been so stressed for so long, that you just need some rest and recuperation. As you tune into what’s going on inside you, you may notice that you are just plain exhausted. If so, you might practice a short meditation, take a little nap, and plan how you can make sleep a top priority.

Another reason you may feel sleepy is that the brainwave frequencies associated with deep meditation are close to those that you have when you are sleeping. In brief, your brain operates in four general frequency ranges: beta, alpha, theta, and delta. Beta waves are higher frequency choppy waves that are characteristic of being busy getting lots of things done; alpha waves are a bit slower and more rolling, characteristic of when you are calmly focused on doing one thing; theta waves are slower swells, characteristic of deep relaxation in meditation, and delta waves are slow subtle brainwaves found in deep sleep.

If you are new to meditation, your brain may associate moving down into the more relaxing brainwaves of meditation as your body going to sleep—and you may find yourself getting really sleepy. That’s actually a great sign that you are starting to relax. It’s also a reason for the upright, unsupported posture that will keep you awake.
If you find yourself getting sleepy, take a few deep breaths to refresh your energy, adjust your posture, and return to your meditation cues. With ongoing practice, you’ll find that you can be deeply relaxed and highly alert at the same time.

Now, one final and overarching point, which I believe will help you throughout the life of your meditation practice and throughout your life as a whole—realize that these problems in meditation are not problems at all. Uncomfortable experiences are just part of the process. As you observe and accept whatever happens in meditation—and in life—be present with it, and allow it to naturally move through you—I believe you’ll find that meditation and life becomes easier, more pleasurable, and more profound.

What if the problems, discomforts, and self-judgments you face in meditation and in life are not problems at all? What if they are opportunities to relax deeply, trust, and let go? What if letting go is the first secret of deeper meditation and the life you truly desire?

I would love to hear your questions and comments about this Weekly Message in our Discussion below.

In next week’s message, we’ll talk about moving into Stage Two of your practice, the joyful feeling of deep concentration.

Until next time,

What happens when you let go and simply observe, accept, and welcome whatever happens in your practice?

Kevin