SGM June 2017 Weekly Message Two: “7 Simple Tools to Live in Lightness & Grace”
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Welcome to this week’s edition of Spiritual Growth Monthly. I’m Kevin Schoeninger. It’s great to have you with us here at SGM!
Let’s begin from where we left off last week. In last week’s message, we explored the key insight from Eckhart Tolle’s book, “The Power of Now,” which is what happens when you make the shift in consciousness to being “present in the present moment.” According to Tolle, when you are fully present in the present moment you let go of stress, anxiety, fear, and struggle, and open up to the experiences and resources that are available right in front of you—here and now. You experience the essence of who you are and receive exactly what you need when you need it.
Sounds like a great place to be.
Yet, curiously, we sometimes resist being present in the present moment. It seems that we get in such a habit of focusing on past and future-oriented worries and concerns, that, even if they are causing us pain and suffering, we keep ruminating over them. We get so attached to our anxieties and fears that we resist enjoying life now and welcoming the opportunities that are being given to us each moment.
That’s not to say that reflecting on the past and imagining the future are not worthwhile endeavors. However, when we allow what happened in the past or fears of what might happen in the future to determine what we are capable of experiencing now, we miss out. Not only do we miss out on the gifts we are being given now, we also struggle more than is necessary.
According to Tolle, when we experience suffering, it is because we are resisting “what is.” For example, you might have a pain in your body and turn it into suffering by thinking “this pain is really bad. It’s never going to end. It’s my lot in life to struggle. Life is cruel” and so on. We pile judgment and negativity on top of our pain—and this makes us suffer.
While pain is a part of life, suffering happens when we create stories around our pain that intensify it and make it into some big and terrible “thing.” Rather than exploring what our pain has to show us, we fight against it, resist it, and try to kill it or get away from it.
In similar ways, we resist much of what is happening in our lives by interpreting it through the lens of past pain or worry about the future. In this way, we resist being in the now and seeing what Life is offering us.
We do this by being here, but wanting to be there. We have this, but we want that. We act a certain way, but we want to be another. Nothing is ever good enough.
In a state of resistance we are critical, judgmental, and negative. This resistance is the source of our ongoing suffering.
We all do this to some degree. As a culture, I’d say this is a dominant way of being. We are hyper-critical of every little thing that everyone does that doesn’t agree with the way things “should be done.” We are hyper-critical of ourselves and others, if we don’t match up to an invisible moveable line that says how we “should be.”
Yet, what if these judgments block us from seeing what is actually happening, probing more deeply and accurately into the underlying causes, and responding from a higher level of insight?
Which brings us to practice Tool #1.
Tolle says: “All you need to do is to accept this moment fully. You are then at ease in the here and now and at ease with yourself.” (p.174, TPON)
“This awareness does not deny the pain and yet is beyond it. It allows the pain to be and yet transmutes it at the same time. It accepts everything and transforms everything.” (p.163, TPON)
When we accept what is happening, rather than judging it, we change our relationship to ourselves, others, and the events of life. Instead of getting negative or critical, we learn to observe what is happening without being consumed by it or being all wrapped up in our point of view. This enables us to see more clearly and respond more appropriately.
You can test this out the next time you find yourself getting negative or critical. See if you can step outside of your initial reaction. See if it’s possible to view the situation with a wide angle lens—from the wide embrace of complete acceptance.
Notice how acceptance of what is creates a shift in consciousness. You may discover that letting things be the way they are frees up energy and allows positive movement forward, instead of keeping things stuck in the same old routines of negativity, judgment, and suffering.
Now, that all sounds good, but what about those moments that you can’t seem to accept? What about those times when emotional and physical pain is so intense that you can’t muster up any acceptance of it? What about those times when acceptance of what is happening feels wrong?
According to Tolle, this is a sign that your “pain body” is active. Your pain body is suffering that you’ve accumulated in your life which still resides within your energy field. It is triggered by association with events that have caused you pain in the past. When your pain body is triggered, it gives you a highly-skewed view of what is happening, so that any sense of “objective observation” is impossible.
Tolle tells us that the pain body “has two modes of being: dormant and active. . .Some people live almost entirely through their pain-body, while others may experience it only in certain situations, such as intimate relationships, or situations linked with past loss or abandonment, physical or emotional hurt, and so on. Anything can trigger it, particularly if it resonates with a pain pattern from your past.” P.36
Now, this notion of the pain body might sound foreign. You might not be aware of anything like a “pain body” inside yourself. Keep in mind that your pain body is simply the accumulation of any unresolved challenging experiences from your past. Pain accumulates in your body when you are hurt, or challenged, mentally, emotionally, or physically in ways that exceeded your resources at that time.
We have all had such moments in the past—and yet we may not be fully aware of how they influence the ways we think, feel, and act now. In my research, work with clients, and personal experience, I think it is fair to say that the pain you are holding onto from the past is a primary cause of the suffering you experience now and even the aches, pains, and illnesses that you get. Because of that, it’s a powerfully important practice to recognize and release your past pain. As you are able to recognize and release past pain from your body, you are able to welcome the better experiences that life is leading you into now.
You can notice your pain body is active when you experience familiar tension, irritation, or discomfort. Anything that feels like pain you’ve experienced before is a sign that your pain-body is active.
If your pain body is active, try Tool #2:
“Watch for any sign of unhappiness in yourself in whatever form—it may be the awakening pain-body. This can take the form of irritation, impatience, a somber mood, a desire to hurt, anger, rage, depression. . .and so on. Catch it the moment it awakens from its dormant state.
It’s survival depends on your unconscious identification with it, as well as on your unconscious fear of facing the pain that lives in you. . .(However) it is an insubstantial phantom that cannot prevail against the power of your presence. . .The moment you observe it, feel its energy field within you, and take your attention into it, the identification is broken. A higher dimension of consciousness has come in.” (p.38, TPON)
Once that higher dimension of consciousness comes in, you can move to being more rooted in the present moment using Tool #3.
Inner body awareness is a bridge to a higher frequency of consciousness. Through inner body awareness you become conscious of your connection with the One Life that animates your being. You feel that energy flowing through you. You feel more relaxed, peaceful, present, and alive. As this becomes a dominant inner experience, you are less affected by negativity in the world around you and more able to embrace and attract new circumstances and experiences that reflect a higher vibration of consciousness.
Inner body awareness creates a higher state of vibration.
However, there are times when no matter how well you think you know this, you can’t seem to access that higher state of vibration. In those cases, try Tool #4.
In times of fear, tension, and stress, deep conscious breathing is a powerful tool. Taking even a few moments to focus on your breathing not only creates a mindful space in the events that you are caught up in, but it releases the tension of those events from your body. When in doubt about how to proceed, take a deep breath and feel the sensations of breathing in your body. Follow your breath as it expands into your body and stay with it as your body empties out. Imagine that you are welcoming energy and inspiration as you inhale, and exhaling tension and stress.
Now, sometimes, your mind may be so consumed with tension-filled thoughts that you can’t seem to escape them or focus on anything else but them. When your thoughts are spinning a hundred miles per hour, you can use your thoughts themselves to go beyond thought. This is Tool #5.
You dis-identify from your thoughts when you watch your thoughts as an observer. You identify with the action of observing rather than with the content of the thought itself. In this position you can say, “I see that thought, but I am not it. It is not who I am. Therefore, I can focus on it or not. It’s my choice.”
Tolle suggests a fun and simple exercise for stopping your thoughts:
He says: “Try a little experiment. Close your eyes and say to yourself: ‘I wonder what my next thought is going to be.’ Then become very alert and wait for the next thought. Be like a cat watching a mouse hole. What thought is going to come out of the mouse hole?” (p.93, TPON)
I love that visual. I encourage you to give it a try now. Ask yourself, “What will my next thought be?” Then be like a cat watching a mouse hole. What thought will come out of that mousehole next?
Did your mind quiet down for a moment? Did you experience being an observer? Did you catch the first thought that came through the mousehole of your mind? What happens when you are the watcher of your thoughts and not the thinker of them?
When you know yourself as the watcher, the observer, the witness of what is going on in your mind, you step back from your thoughts rather than being consumed by them. This gives you an opportunity to entertain a certain thought or let it go. You become the master of your own mind. And, rather than just thinking about life, you can let go of your thoughts and more fully experience what is actually happening right now. This is Tool #6.
Begin where you are right now and use all your senses. What colors, shapes, and objects do you see in the space around you? What sounds do you hear? What do you smell or taste? What textures are you touching? What does it feel like inside your body?
Observe your breathing.
Observe what is without judgment, without wanting to change anything, with as little interpretation and storytelling as possible. Appreciate the raw beauty in what Is, Now, just as it is.
Isn’t it interesting how much you miss out on when you are consumed with all the thoughts in your mind? What might happen if you spent less time ruminating about worries, fears, and concerns and more time experiencing what is actually happening now?
Tolle encourages us to: “Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Whereas before you dwelt in time and paid brief visits to the Now, have your dwelling place in the Now and pay brief visits to past and future when required to deal with the practical aspects of your life situation.” (p.35, TPON)
What if, as the Zen tradition suggests: you practice having a Beginner’s Mind? What if you practice seeing things as if for the first time? Can you see another person as if you’ve never met them? Can you see yourself, others, and life without carrying along so much baggage from the past? Can you do that with someone that you recently experienced tension or conflict with? Can you allow the next moment of interaction to be fresh and new? What new possibilities might emerge?
That brings us to our final Tool for this week:
You surrender when you acknowledge that the Universal Life Force brought you into this world and has a path for you. You let go of your past pain and its judgments and negativity, and stop opposing the flow of your life now. Then, can you truly welcome and receive the gifts available in the present moment.
Tolle says that, “Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life.” P.205
Surrender opens up a new way of being.
To consciously vibrate in this state of felt presence in the present moment is to experience the peace and joy which is your natural state of Being. When you do this internally, your outer life comes into alignment. Your outer circumstances reflect your inner state of being.
As Tolle says: “If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.” (p.77, TPON)
Getting the inside right is a matter of practice. It’s a daily practice to live in a deeper state of Presence. The tools we’ve explored today give you seven ways to practice.
You may want to review these tools several times. You could print them out or jot them down. Refer to them often, so you really absorb them into your spiritual growth toolkit and they are available to you whenever you need them.
Perhaps you would like to focus on using one of these tools each day this week? Become familiar with it. Use it often. And, see what you discover.
I would love to hear your results in our Discussion below.
Next week, we’ll explore what to do with persistent negative thoughts and feelings and those times when life challenges your faith and trust.
Until next time, keep coming back to being present in the present moment and see what you discover NOW.
Enjoy your practice!
Kevin